CRAP! Didn't take a photo of what I cooked with Hearts.. SIGH. But it was yummy..

Together we made:

1. Campbell Cream of Mushroom
2. Sauteed Onions
3. Sauteed Mushrooms
4. Sauteed Bell Peppers
5. French fries
6. FARKING YUMMY DONE AS YOU LIKE IT Sirloin Steak+gravy.
7. Creme Caramel Custard

WOW. Heeee. The sirloin steak was so delish. And done with the help of Oliver. Jamie Oliver, that is. I was beyond proud of my steaks, done for 3 people - my brother, me and Hearts - and it was perfect to each ones liking. CONSIDERING IT WAS MY FIRST TIME. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee. And its so simple, really. Just get the steaks cut to your liking, then with some olive oil+salt+blackpepper and well a little worcestershire sauce (oh and the thing is if you put the sauce then HOLD the ladle fulls of salt. BALANCE. cos the sauce is salty too). THATS ALL bitches. SO not like some recipes where there's a THOUSAND little ingredients. HAAHAHAH. Yay. (can you tell I'm super happy?) So the only...challenging part would be how to cook it to just the way you like it right??

Jannah: medium
Hearts: medium-rare
Redhuan (my brother): medium-welldone (but by the good graces of forgetfullness he got hearts one instead of his. the plates got swopped accidentally! >.<)

I read on the Jamie Oliver webbie that the rule of thumb of cooking steak is as everyone knows is all in the timing and the heat right? So Jamie said (see, we're on a First Name basis!) for about 2cm thick steak that's about 200g, you have it about 2mins on each side, for medium rare.. SO FLIP FLIP FLIP, and some agar-ation here and there and BOOM. Here you go. Hmmm, how does it look like??

This is his:


Imagine my steak to be half the width, and WITHOUT the sauce underneath it (his has peanut sauce).

PLUS

Imagine JUST the ONIONS. :D

PLUS

THESE mushrooms. But on an old tefal pan. AHHAAH.

PLUS

Bell-peppers like these only CUBED and more sauteed and well-done :D

AND THEN..
IMAGINE them all in one plate! WHEEEEE.

It was good, it was fun.. it was totally spontaneous. HEE :D

Yet another lovely Sunday with Hearts.

this totally made me roffl. heeeeeeee

FYI. Something bad did happen the day I thought something bad was gonna. HAHAH. Well it isn't horrid (thank god) but my till was short $10. SIGHHHHHHH. But it could've been worse. Anyways it was my fault - apparently it was a cash error. So.. boo ):

Anyways, I find it awesome that no matter how many days I've been working, it never gets bored - I think a lot of it has something to do with the fact that in the customer service department, everyday is a new day. When you're working with people, things get...interesting.

I've met so many different types of people - CREEPS who give me the sly grin and stare at my every move as they pay at my counter. I swear I got the goosebumps, and I don't mean the nice kind. There are also the people who ask stupid questions -ZOMG. And there's the omgwtfbbqknnccb type that ask things like "CAN I JUST BORROW THE BOOK?!"

Most days I come home with a chockfull of memories, for sure.

Enough about work though.

Wednesday, Superman and America came over to my place, and we had pasta, chips, oranges and drinks whilst watching Across the Universe and enjoying the cool rainy weather. That's life. It was fun and chillax, so super.

Hmm, anything else?

Oh well, this is work related, without actually being about WORK. I can't believe how much more subdued I am around the people at work - like I don't know, I brought back down to my secondary school days... Where I am more quiet cos I'm scared and nervous about how I should behave. Weird, ain't it??? Sigh. I mean, part of me thinks that I'd probably mix well with some of my colleagues, cos they're very much like me, I think. But then the other part of me thinks that I still have to earn that ability to be as comfortable as they are with one another.

I feel like the new kid in school with no friends, YET i do have friends. Alas, with the powers of the shiftmakers mean that I don't get to work with the same people all the time.. So well, I guess I have to learn to grow up:D

*SOBS* We both forgot to take photo. SIGGGGGGH. It's okay. I got my "bookcover" photo. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.
Anyways, yesterday was a LOVELY Sunday and the 3rd episode of Sunday With Hearts. We went all the way to the West (CCK) - which is damn funny cos when I said (in narrator-esque voice):
"This week, on Sundays With Hearts.."
she said:
"We'll be heading off to the West...of Singapore
which made me say (without narrator voice):
"Oh chey. I thought why West sia. Today we hunting for Korean food what. Korea in the EAST. Sekali you meant SINGAPORE."

I had a great time being a jakon - never been to this side of Singapore. So Hearts basically was my tour guide. Anyways, we went somewhere she used to go to a lot in her secondary school days - the mall at CCK, where she said had good Korean food. AND SHE WAS SO RIGHT. It was darn awesome possum. I was SO excited to find proper halal korean food - FYI: SEOUL GARDEN ISN'T KOREAN FOOD. KOREANS WOULD BE EMBARRASSED - WHAT WITH THE DIMSUMS, FRIES, PASTAS THEY SERVE AT THE SIDE >.< I felt super spoilt for choice. HEEE. But I had Beef BBQ set, and wah I had rice cake thingy as a side - I've been wanting to have the rice cake thingy! In Korea, they have like random street vendors outside schools selling the thing. IT WAS YUMMY SHIT MAN.

Then we lepak-ed around, bought dessert, went to YISHUN after that, drank bubble tea, lepak summore. Then I had to go work. SOBS. It was a super short outing, I swear ): But nonetheless, I need my dose of Hearts - at LEAST once a week. If not I feel really lonely and isolated from friends etc. I find it great that one day in the week is set aside for her, I just hope it'd be a regular thing (:

Thanks HEARTS for being awesome possum, and layaning all my merapek meraban and all my stories - which you know I tell from A-Z, yet you'll still sit down and patiently listen!

Of late, a bunch of my friends have been having some not so great days - either being disturbed by some IDIOTS or simply put in difficult positions. My heart goes out to them - stay strong (: No matter what, all the shit will be over soon enough, and eitherway, life is full of stupid, awful, selfish people, and life is also full of challenges. Our only thing to do would be to grab the bull by the horns - and toss it back to the stone age (:

AMAZINGLY, Sunday was an awesome day at work - a good day, I must say. It was fun getting to relax, joke around, and be around eejits like Shakti and Collin. Nice people, who don't make me feel like I'm walking on glass.

OH AND SATURDAY WAS AWESOME, COS RIGHT DURING MY DINNER BREAK I HAD PEOPLE COMING TO VISIT ME - HEARTS, FREEQ AND THEIR SWISS FRIEND, HAKIM. It was damn right funny cos like over the PA, a member of the staff was calling me - then I called back, worried, only to find them tell me that "Oh, you're friends are here." WHATTHE.. hahahahaha, But I was so thankful. When they came, it was 10 minutes to my dinner break - so I had friends to dinner with. If not eat alone sia. AHAHAH, BASKET all they know is to ask me to let them use my staff discount. HHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH but its okay, I love them anyways.

Feeling better nowadays.

my feet hurts though. HAHAHA.

TODAY ALSO GOT WORK BITCHES. Come and usik(disturb) me if you like, make me layan (entertain) your every need. HAHAHA.

<3

The ancient Mayans believed that the crust of the Earth was a thin layer which separated the real world and the spirit world. They believed that everything dies and goes into the Earth, and from the Earth comes new life. Regeneration.

Faith & Simplicity.

These past few days have been tiresome, but awesome at the same time. Things change, come and go - friendship, lovers, family, everything. Things just happen that way. But from it, you learn something new, something different - you feel things you never would without these experiences. You grow. You gain new friends, people you thought you'd never click with in that awesome way that you did. And that, friends, is life.

I never thought what Hearts said would've been true. But I guess, it can't be helped - when she told me, I was in lala land, cloud nine - whatever you call it. When I was in my moments of consistent bliss and joy and happiness, she told me to be aware that it may only be temporal, like everything else in life. She reminded me that almost inevitably, what goes up, will come down; that there will come a day where I'd lose that reckless glee I felt I had attained - the one I thought was forever. I was super happy, like the "nothing will bring me down, blablabla" kind. But now, I guess it's turn has come to an end.

I long for that funny joy I had, that simplicity, and zest. But since the past few weeks, its just so hard to get back. I lost it when I was facing some dilemmas, some internal conflicts - things which I've yet to face head on. Part of me is too tired to look it in the eye, and part of me just can't bring myself to do it anymore. Ironic - when a friend has a problem, I say "you have to face it, before it snowballs, before you burst", and yet I just let myself create this ginormous avalanche.

This is how I feel in the deep recesses of my heart.

But on the outside, on the more superficial issues (for the most part), I'm still pretty alright. I'm happy most times, laughing sometimes, smiling always. It's just who I am. Pishposh. I just wish I would get over this, I dunno, phase and move on.

Its like, regeneration, y'know. I want all the bad stuff to go into the Earth, and from the Earth, the birth of all things lovely. But from where I'm standing, I see chaos.

Bring it.

It's like this awesome weather we've been having. Who would've thought that yesterday, Superman, America and I would be drenched wet (despite being umbrella-ready), in our WHITE blouses, laughing our asses off and shivering in the farking cinema. Good times (:

Sigh. I know. I laugh one second, I cry the next. Like I'm ferturded. Schizo.

Oh well.

I've been very icky wicky recently, and honestly very on off. But that's life right?

SUNDAYS I'M IN LOVE

Well not really, but well I spent 2 Sundays in a row with Hearts! :D Awesome Possum. I bought a whole bunch of stuff I tell my self I need (but obviously if it needs telling....). But its all good. I kinda miss my friends a lot, so its nice to wind down a bit? Yeap. I just need that mode once in a while to be able to act stupid, shut down/screensaver, anything - just laugh and stuff. Things that make me smile. Cos I think part of me just realised that I'll be working for the next few months, and I'm kinda overwhelmed with thoughts of HOW I'm going to manage my time.

SATS. SATS. SATS. SATS. I cannot forget that I'm taking SATS. I don't have ANYTHING to help me prepare. Frucccck.

Just some pictures...







Today... I still came to school. And fuck, really - please do not come to SAJC. Omgosh, I think the world would be much better off without another 1000 kids under the regime of the good ole Kevin Ho. I swear, such a turd. That word, doesn't even cut it I think? Yeah. Basket. But anyways, school wasn't too bad. Hung out with the retainees, then hung out with the class, then hung out with Julien and helped her classmate with his I&R, then hung out with Julien+Adilah at IKEA (alexandra rd). DAMN FUN. We played. We laughed. We bought things. I need to revamp my room, and I got my (not so) little elves ready to help, at my disposal. HAHAHAH. Wah shit sia. I like super duper CHEAPO sia - everything I bought either costs 90c each or like super cheap hahahahahahhahaha. Oh well, budget.

Okay, lets see if tomorrow's a better day. I have to go cos muther's pissed. Mwahahah.

i miss you a lot, just fyi. really. gone were the days where we used to heck care and laugh and talk about stupid shit all night long. and to the other you, that I miss too - i shouldn't be missing you and yet i do. sigh

My life's been having a lot of ups and downs lately - kinda feels like I'm on an eternal rollercoaster. I've got to go do other stuff, but just a quick update.

hmmm.

Retainees have been busy doing... well nothing really. The school makes us come to school and we still do nothing productive - unless you count me and Julien's K-drama watching! (woots! :D) School's still school I guess, we can't do anything about it - just like the Koreans+Chinese+Russians had no choice in the communist regime they were placed under. (hahahahha i know, the audacity of me, comparing my life to theirs. sigh)

HMM. I've really missed my friends buckets - especially since all the "links" are missing. Hahaha. They're all at Work Attachment! sigh. But its been funny, especially since I get random messages about how dull their life can be!!

I've got a job now (:

I signed up for SATs already (:

MY SISTER'S COMING BACK THIS DECEMBER. <3 THE BEST NEWS EVER. EXCITED TO THE MAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was cruising to school on the flyover, and this was how the heavens greeted me. Beautiful, isn't it? I know once in a while, when the going gets awfully tough, I doubt if there's anyone up there, in the skies looking out for me. But it's moments like these that I feel this awe.

A lot has happened, but part of me still feels out of place. Beyond my comprehension.

So out of place.

Sigh. How long more will I feel this way?

Enough of that.

Well, Promos is beyond over, and well, the results are out. You know what Hell Week is? Well, for me, Hell Week was the week of which we knew the results were gonna be released, which was in fact on Friday. It was the week where you'd go to class and they'll tell you little things like "Oh, some of you failed..." or "Only 60% of the level passed...", or better yet, go through the whole paper, without you of course knowing whether you actually scored or not. They're not allowed to tell you actual useful information, but they torture you with the little things. I swear everyday we go home with a black face. Hahahaha.

Hmm, my results were very satisfactory. I'm pleased. But most of all, the fact that I've promoted (finally) it feels like a weight's been lifted off my shoulders. A whole, huge boulder. However, I'm suddenly sitting on a black hole of nothingness. Purposelessness. Hahaha. It's weird, now not having to worry about stuff, as much as I had too.

To fill the time, I'm thinking of SATs, a job, my French, driving.

So much to do.. where do I begin?

I said that I have forgotten about it.

I thought that I'd be better off without it.

I said that I didn't want it.

It would be a LIE!!!!

AHAHAHHA.
I'm talking about my love for all things Korean (and Jap). Lols.

I won't lie, I took a break from it because I was obsessing. And by obsessing I don't mean just sitting around watching youtube after youtube video (which I did, anyways.) but I mean becoming this ravaging person obsessed with Korean life - don't get me wrong, it's great, but it becomes too much when I thought that my life would be nothing, that my parents should've migrated there, that only in KOREA can my dreams come true.

It was so bad.

But now, I think I've matured from the long long long fast from my fangirly things.

BUT NOW, there's so much to catch up with!!! (which is kinda fun!) AND there are all the -_-'' people who are..posers. 0.o knn. ESAD.



Enjoy the vid as much as I did once - its universal-ear friendly :D

SCHOOL - goodness gracious. Can you imagine. I mean just think about it okay, tomorrow's the last official day for the J2s. Uncanny, isn't it. To think that all this while I've been delaying the reality of being officially separated from my actual, first, pioneer JC1 batch, the 2008 batch. I really had a blast, with them. My friends. I can only wish them the best in A's. Their journey's almost ending, and I'm so excited for them, AND excited for my turn.

But I won't lie.

Just a little sad too.

Nice weekend I've had - honestly. After a very frustrating week at school, I had a really good weekend. And well, I didn't have the WORST weekdays..just annoying, the school bit. But I must say after-school hours were pretty fun. Either we ate like pigs with Thompson Prata House or Beach Road..or hang out like k00l kids at Starbucks, or watched movies like Phobia2, (500) Days of Summer. I enjoy the company I keep, I've got really great friends, and I'm glad for it <3

Psst. You might not believe it, but Phobia 2 is DAMN SYIOK to watch! Really. With a bunch of friends. There's about 5 stories in it, and the first four had a lot of shockfactor and SCARRRRINESS, but the last was so AWESOMEPOSSUM - it ensured you won't sleep with nightmares! :D

I finally went raya-ing! Gosh, can you imagine, I bought a new dress for Hari Raya and only NOW do I get to wear it?! Sigh. Anyways, it was SAJC peeps, a super small gang. Hilmi, Farid, Nadia, Firqin, Fadilah, Me and well, Hayati at the last house! :D Fun. A lot of laughter. Some embarrassing moments. Some AWKWARD moments. A lot of teasing. and A WHOLE LOT OF CAMERA LOVE! Yayzers. It was kinda fun seeing the other sides of people. Like imagine HILMI serving you drinks, and being all nice and homely. HAHAH.

That was Saturday. Sunday was Syeek's OpenHouse at Tampines. Hee... Finally met some YMers. Hani, Ami, Isa, Abg Sat, Rabiatul and well Syeek of course. OF COURSE with Hani and me around, you'd know there's gonna be a LOT of pictures! :D HAHAHAH it was fun, and we went to AMKhub to watch sorority row. HAAHA, hmm it isn't worth the weekend rates, but if you're into some gory thrilling shit, then it'd be pretty okay. IF you pay only $6 hahaha.

I miss my old friends. And spending time with Fadilah (chicadilakhan) reminds me a lot about Cedar. She asked me a lot of whether I prefer being in SA to being in Cedar, and believe it or not, I was a little torn. I dunno. I never regret going to Cedar, that's for sure. But at the same time, when I remember certain memories of it, I don't think I'd turn back time just yet. I think Cedar was great for the formative years of my life. But it wasn't the easiest stage of my life to be in. In my secondary school days, there were a lot of bitter memories. Things that went on, between family and friends, that I don't think I'd want to repeat again. But of course, in my veins, lies the blood of a Cedarian, and true to form, would never forget her sisterhood bonds that she's created - the sense of patriotism that I do not feel for SA, lest for the rugby matches.

~~~~

Tomorrow's a new day, and Lord know's what's in store for us. But I'm excited, to meet my friends.

I'm really glad, that I managed to let some things go today. I don't know, but I think I owe part of it to the play there was during morning assembly. And that, I don't know, I can remember that I'm not alone in my plights. That no one is truly alone, no matter how lonely it feels. Inch by inch, I'm finding my happiness again(: I won't lie, talking to Hearts last night, helped a lot. I think it just reminded me that my journey does not have to be ventured alone, and that I'm not the only one that has problems; that I'm just not alone (:

The play in school just reminded me, for the 1000th time I've been saying, that behind every person, there's a story. I think I learnt the hard way in secondary school that I cannot judge a person - not from what I hear about them, or what I think about them just from looking at them. People are different, and the world's just too messed up for us to not accept this fact. Different. That's what makes us so special. Never judge, cos no matter how happy, or popular or wonderful a person may be, they face a struggle of their own everyday. We should help one another.

I think if anything, that's what I'm gonna try to do. Help other people with their struggle through life, and hope someone helps me through mine. No one should feel lonely, or helpless. If it means being quiet, I will. If it means helping them with their work, I will. If it means just listening, I will. If it only takes a smile, I'll smile till the cows come home (:

I am no Barack Obama, but at least if I can't change Healthcare (haha), I can at least try to make it easier for the people around me. Especially my family. Sigh I won't lie, I am the most horrid person to my family sometimes. They say that you should treat your family with a lot of care because they're the ones who'll love you with all your flaws, but I take for granted that you can just screw them over sometimes simply because...they'll love me back eitherway. Twisted right? Sometimes I realise that I just make up excuses. Especially when it comes to my parents. I know sometimes I truly believe that they deserve whatever comes their way, but I just got to learn to forgive. Sure, forgetting is never gonna happen, not by a longshot. But like I really have to get some closure. kakak, you too. Or else, I don't think I'll be able to make a life for myself.

Treat those around you better, jans. Maybe things will be different for you too (:

Funny how much better I feel after just laughing, letting loose and letting life happen.

i miss my brother and my sister lots.. my sister most.

I am trying to find my constant. Trying to find that inner peace that I have, or at least once had. Sigh. I forgot that when you're in a rut, nothing you say can make you feel better; at least not immediately. When you feel like the world around you is crumbling, it's simply that - it feels like its shattering and you can't stop it. Nobody can. The rational part of me that rests in the deep recesses of my mind reminds me that it isn't the end of the world. But hell, sure does feel like it.

What do I want most right now? I want, and I especially miss laughing my head off, and honestly feeling the warmth and joy just grow inside me. I miss having HEARTS in school. I dunno why. HAHA. She teases me all the darn time, but like she just makes me smile a lot. And she tries to be the best person, which makes me wanna be the best person. I miss the positive energy I had in me. Now it all feels simply superficial - like in all honesty, I can't seem to find that joy and it feels so far away. Being so sad and angry is so painful. And not to mention tiring.

I think watching 500 Days of Summer, with my heavy heart wasn't a good idea. Cos it just added more things in the "too many things jannah thinks about" list. But it was an awesome movie, really.

I think right, I just need a good cry. That once I cry at something really sad that has nothing to do with me directly - like a tragedy or devastation, I might be able to actually, tangibly remind myself of all the things I have to be thankful for.

Being sad is like a bad habit. So hard to kick, and when you do kick it, its like, you're so afraid you'll fall back into it again. HAHA.


OKAY, lets try positive. (If i manage positive, please please please pat me on my back)

Today, we were surrounded by so many couples - it was the opening day for 500 DAYS OF SUMMER. I won't lie, it was dreadfully good! Anyways we saw so many SA/Tk boys out with their other halfs... heee. Nice to see. Anyways, upon so much analysis, we all decided that ---s are just puppies. HAHAHA exactly. They give their puppy dog faces, that help them get away with murder..give them a ball and they're all excited..they seem to wanna hump everything..they... HAHAHA they're just like puppies. WHAT A REVELATION, kan?

Anyways, so many couples. Like a mini-Vday. HEE. :D

At school, the retainees played a lot of games - me, freeq, Nadirid played badminton, which was so fun! HAHAHA i cannot servE. Get over it, luh! ahahhaahha :D

This is so sick.

I watched Philip DeFranco and my heart feels lighter.
I read Perez Hilton and my heart feels lighter.

GO MASS MEDIA!!